This day has been one of my hardest with personal life events. It was hard to say, “Today is a good day.” I won’t go into the details of the avalanche that buried me under a mountain of rocks today, and I mean an avalanche, but I will share one rock – the hardest rock.
She Purrs
My beloved cat is at the end of her life and I’m struggling. Very sad. Alexa is fifteen years old, and in human years this means she is like a woman in her 90’s. She has advanced kidney disease, and her sweet feline body is moving slowly. I don’t want her to die. I want to soothe my friend. Make it better. Her vet says she only has a few days. I still want to love Alexa. Memories of her kitten-hood pass through my mind. I smile. She purrs.
Alexa cuddles next to me, sneezes and looks up in my eyes. I smile. My heart wants to talk to her and say, “Gosh! We’ve had a wonderful 15 years together, my friend.” She sneezes and looks up at me as if to say, “Sorry, what were you saying? Something happened in my nose. Say again and I will listen more.” Running my fingers through her still shiny fur, I try to send healing thoughts. She purrs.
In my mind I’m remembering when she got excited about bugs in the house! Chasing the bug, she finds a toy covered with catnip (who put that there?) She jumps on a table and looks intently at the bird feeder covered with little birds. Jumping down she remembers the catnip toy (smile) and she rolls around with it. She purrs.
It’s late, and I had work on the computer to finish. I want to go and sit with her, but I need to finish picking up the avalanche. My little friend hears me typing in my office at home, and slowly steps into the room, struggles up to my red chair. She sits patiently and waits for me to finish, so we can cuddle. She purrs.
The avalanche of rocks that took so much from me today are still being moved, but Alexa is purring. Somehow the load feels lighter. Yes, it is much lighter. Somehow I will find a way to deal with it. I breathe. She purrs.
Turning to look at my little angel, I realize that her purring calms me. Is she reading my mind? I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is the value of someone by your side who cares. Even if they can’t pick up your avalanche, it helps to have company to give you that calming reference. She purrs.
I want to assure you that all days are not always what I would call a good day. Rocks may fall. Even an avalanche could rock your world. Yet, it makes a difference when you’re not alone… when you have someone to who will listen quietly … and purr.
May I end this day with a thought: “May all beings be free of suffering. May all beings receive purrs.”
Cat: Purrsonal condolences. My sister’s kitty is seventeen and getting to the same kind of frailty. I’m just trying to focus on my work now because I can see the same frailty creeping up on me. It is so hard to let go. Especially for someone with so much. But the kitties teach us that in the end it comes down to a good purr and a nice nap. So I drum and throw discs (I don’t hunt mice), and keep dumping most of what I’ve found so that I leave a few presents of value to suppurrt those who have listened to my dreams. We should rage while we can so we can go gently when it’s time to just let go. My dreams are with you. ????
Your kindness, Steven, eases my heart. (hugs) Thank you from the deepest center of our being.