Rich AanrichExpectations: Gift vs. Trade?
How attached are you to the gifts you give? When you gift are you expecting something in return? Questions to ponder.  Recently Cat and I planned a leisurely day to drive and visit people we hadn’t seen in a long time. Our students become cherished friends and sort of like family, and we missed them. So a trip was planned.
Before we left we decided that we’d like to do something nice and made something for our friends that we thought they would like. We drove an hour or so to their new business place, looking forward to meeting with both of them, seeing their place, and share some time together. One of them had clients booked back to back, and couldn’t come out to greet us. We know there are times when we are busy with clients or teaching, and we’re not available either, so we know how that can be. Being self-employed … busy is good.
So, Cat and I took the time to see their business, hearing the story from the partner about the location and all of the effort they put into making it customer friendly, with just the right spirit. Miracles came to them in their new enterprise. It was really nice being in a healing space. We were there for a long while and needed refreshment. Since we were still waiting to see our other student we went next door for coffee and returned later. The partner was in a new session.  It felt like it was a good time to leave.  We thanked him, mentioned how much we had enjoyed having them both as students, and presented our special gift. We even had a fun ritual to hand it off. Then we left. Onward and forward to enjoy our road trip.
We enjoyed the rest of the day, driving around on a sunny afternoon. We wandered, enjoying the scenery, the freedom to play. Oregon’s coastal towns are beautiful and interesting, and we enjoyed a wonderful dinner at Baked Alaska restaurant on the water.  Smiling, relaxed, and happy … we drove leisurely back to Portland.
Reflecting on the trip later … I realized that we’d looked forward to the visit for a long time, wanting to see our students in their successful new place, but obviously had some expectations. We’d traded emails for over a week … everyone was excited to see each other again, however, stuff happens. After all the communications and responses and planning to have some time with our friends … we wanted connection.  They were busy on the day we chose to visit. Since we took the time to make a nice gift and deliver it, we’d hoped to hear later of their appreciation. Inside … there was chatter.
When you give a gift, what do you expect in return? Usually, a person wants to please or make someone happy with a gift given. So the giving should be enough. Right? Yet … I gave a gift and noticed disappointment to not have heard anything about it. This may mean that in my mind I was expecting something in return. A trade. I bring you a gift. You show appreciation.  You send thanks. Trade complete. Expectations… at least in my head. In NLP, this is called “mind reading.” A communication misstep. We work with clients to achieve open communication for better understanding. I’d caught myself.
A Realization
Wow! That was nice to realize. Earlier I hadn’t noticed that I held expectations about that gift. After thinking about everything, I made a new decision.  Our gift is made with our love and friendship. I am fine realizing that I choose to have this be an unattached gift. It feels good to be able to make that change!
Meeting of the Minds
We’d love to make a TRADE — with you! We work together by using  proven processes.  Hypnotherapy and it’s cousin NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) can be amazing ships to help you navigate your Innerspace. You can redesign or redefine your expectations and get a better outcome. Let me show you how. Discover how. Connect with us. Contact Rich at Apositiva for Counseling, Coaching and Training 503-525-0595 or email us.  I am looking forward to being your guide.
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