Are you interested in others? Do you show it? Have you celebrated the others in your world? Good on you! You are one of the people that my grandmother from England would be proud. Here is tip 4 in getting along with people.
Tip 4 – How to Get Along With People
Be interested in others; in their pursuits, their welfare, their homes and families. Make merry with those who rejoice and mourn with those who weep. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him as a person of importance.
Desperation
Let’s start with a person in history who noticed people. Henry David Thoreau. Henry David Thoreau wore many hats. You might want to consider the time and place, which was in the 1800’s and Massachusetts, a time of so many provoking thoughts in a new country. He was an author, philosopher, and he reflected upon the simple life around him. What he noticed is that people felt isolated, as though others were not interested in their lives. A famous quote: “Most people lead lives of quiet desperation,” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) How did Thoreau “get it”? He lived in the here and now. Thoreau was a transcendentalist, which means he lived in the present moment. Have you noticed that many people live in the past, genuflecting on “the good ‘ol days,” and speak about their yesterdays as though their lives are finished?
Perhaps you are around people who only dwell on what will happen “someday in the future,” and these people are not present when the delicious first course is served. Both of these people miss out of the life in the moment … missing out on spring time trees blooming with blossoms, sun shining after a shower, and the delicious smell of freshly peeled nectarine clinging to the fingers.
Appreciate Others
People all around you want to be noticed and appreciated. Just like trees blooming, people bloom. My partner, Rich, is a person who notices others. Here is an example in how he notices a person in his life – lucky me. (smile) One of the loveliest things Rich has ever said to me was an acknowledgement of my changes in time. He told me this when I asked him a question about why he loves me. “Rich, when your children ask you why you love me, how do you explain that?” Rich smiled and said, “One of the reasons … is that I am a witness of your greatness; to be a witness, and to reflect back to you the great things that you do. Part of my opportunity is to be a witness and reflect back to you – to my love – things she probably hasn’t seen for herself.” Rich could have said, “You have lovely ear lobes.” Instead, he referenced a bigger picture. He told me that he “saw me in my efforts in life.” I felt warm and noticed.
Make merry with those who rejoice and mourn.
It’s easy to celebrate a birthday, graduation, achievement, etc. and it’s fun to have friends and people who acknowledge you. How about mourning? What do you do when you hear of sadness due to a loss of a job, a person, and a life experience? Recently, one of my students has experienced the death of her Great Aunt and her Grandfather within a week. It was a surprise on both accounts. She contacted me and I listened with compassion. I thought about how it would feel to loose two cherished souls in my life. After our talk, I assured her that we could get together at another time and cover any missed material in class; now she could relax at the funeral. Then, I sent a card to acknowledge her feelings. A simple gesture, but one that acknowledges what is important to another person. Be An Anonymous Friend How about the people you see in the street, on your bus, or in a place of business. You never know when a person has received bad news or is struggling with a disease or problem. It doesn’t take much to share a smile from the eyes. Simply think one good thought and share it with the next person you see.
Bottom Line: Be interested in others and let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him as a person of importance.
“The Friend asks no return but that his Friend will religiously accept and wear and not disgrace his apotheosis of him. They cherish each others hopes. They are kind to each other’s dreams.” (Thoreau’s A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers.)
Celebrate Your Day!
Enthusiastically yours,
Cat