Do you ever watch how people communicate? Feel disconnected? How is your communication working for you? Women talk to women, guys talk to guys, people relate to children. People talk to other people. Is the communication response what you want? Watching conversations with other people and sketching character has taught me a lot!
Communication is the Response You Get
Some people seem connected. Others may have one person talking and the other person is distracted by a device. In Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) one of the pre-suppositions is “Communication is the response you get.”
Think back to a time when you were having a conversation or communicating with some one person. Doesn’t matter who, just pick one situation. Did you feel heard? Were you listening to the other person? Yes? Great! No? Then, the communicator on one or both sides is not in rapport.
What is Rapport?
Rapport is a connection where the people are actively interested and involved. If you use the right language, body and verbal, chances are you are building rapport. Even your breathing, clothes, and the sensory way you speak has an impact on rapport.
Business, personal, or every day meetings all call attention to how we have rapport with our colleagues, friends, and lovers.
Women communicate with women, and build rapport on what is shared. Women and men can build rapport with gestures and body posture.
Questions to Ask
The next time you are confused in a conversation, notice what the other person is doing that is working or not connecting with you. Here are some questions and actions to notice.
- How does it feel to listen to their words?
- Do they tell stories or are they brief, like speaking with a list?
- Notice their breathing.
- How are they dressed and does that feel comfortable?
- Is there a style about the person that doesn’t quite click with yours?
- Do they seem distracted as though they are paying attention to someone or something besides you?
- Maybe they seem off?
- Does it feel like they are not all there?
- How are they standing or sitting?
- How are they positioned? Arms at side, legs crossed?
Remember when you are talking to a person, they respond. Even if it seems like they are not talking … no response is a response.
If you want to explore communication more, come in and see us.
Learn a few tips and connect the way you want with people in business, personal or special relationships.
We teach communication in personal sessions, NLP Practitioner training, and Growing Coach certification. Ask for Cat Wilson when you call.