Relationship Rules - photo by Rick Wilson

Relationship Rules – photo by Rick Wilson

Does your relationship need a refresh?  Kahil Gibran suggests, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.”
Kahlil Gibran basically suggests friends and couples to take separate time to renew … apart. One way that comes to mind right away for me is to go on little vacations or take days off by yourself. You started out as an individual and developed your personal aspects with what is in your heart. When you spend every waking moment with another person, you both become similar like bookends. Yet, you are two different stories and it helps to experience and create your own personal stories.
Virginia Satir was an amazing counselor, working with people in relationships and one of the Masterful Inspirations in creating NLP. She makes a statement about helping our “feelings of worth to flourish.” It is important for us to develop trust and realize that we can only grow when we allow the other person to make mistakes and communicate about it. In this way we can nurture and grow together.

“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.” – Virginia Satir, American Psychologist and Educator (1916-1988)

Angry Messages - Photo by Rick Wilson

Angry Messages – Photo by Rick Wilson

Are you and your partner fighting? Disagreeing over little things? Maybe a little space will allow each of you to clear your heads. Remember that you can share interesting events when you return. You will discover individual thoughts, feelings, and you can do foods you like, like eat stuffed green peppers or garlic and mushrooms if your partner doesn’t like them. It’s your day!  Just be on top of your day for you like a retreat.
I remember when I purchased a couple days at Sylvia’s Beach Hotel in Newport Bay, Oregon for a gift for one of my children. They told me it was hard being away from the person they were dating, and their partner kept texting them. Eventually the signal was lost and it was alone time. It was a growing time for them and surprising that it could be okay to be alone for a while.

Tips to Create Space

  • Go read a book at the library by yourself
  • Take a walk alone and wander off the path
  • Meditate early in the morning on your own
  • Take road trips alone
  • Treat yourself to a movie, dinner, or class (i.e. yoga, dance, NLP, guitar, etc.)

Relationships Need Space

If you haven’t tried it yet, give it a whirl. Plan time away with a conversation. Be sure that your partner knows you will be safe and where you will be by setting it up in advance and leaving them the contact. Plan days for both of you. Then come together for a dinner after the day away and share your story.  Apositiva means “that which defines” and we’d love to hear your story on what you discover and how you define yourself now. Email cat at and ask for a Motivational Profile and see how you can line us your preferences with your partner.